Insanity

hier is het weerbericht voor vandaag: het heeft gisteravond maar even geregend en de rest van de nacht niet.
Er is niet al te harde regen voorspelt vanaf een uur of 1 maar niemand weet natuurlijk precies waar. Voor gisteravond was er bergen regen voorspelt en dat ging uiteindelijk niet door.
Ik stel het volgende voor ik wil best het risico nemen en om 12.00 op het station te staan maar dan wil ik weten welke mensen het risico nemen en wie niet. Mocht het gaan regenen dan kunnen we in het park schuilen ( er is een restaurant ) of we kunnen richting stad gaan en eventueel bij de V&D gaan zitten.
Ik wil VOOR half 11 weten wat iedereen gaat doen anders sta ik daar voor niets.

Dank jullie wel!

Oh ja het is hier nu droog met hier en daar bewolking XD

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You scored as Belle Dancing furniture, singing spoons, and a man who needs a serious haircut - sound familiar? Well it should! Belle was a very independent spirit with alot on her mind, much like you are! But in life, there is a needed balance - learn when to speak your mind, and when to hold it back. Sometimes offending someone isn't the best way to go! Tinkerbell 88% Belle 88% Ariel 83% Alice 79% Megara 67% Violet 67% Cinderella 63% Jane 58% Jasmine 46% Snow White 46% Esmerelda 42% Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) 38% Pocahontas 21% Mulan 13%

Disney songs make me happy!


XD

My waterboiler exploded, with fire and stuff..didn't know I could scream so hard... But hee I survived...

I am sick of pretending I like certain people
I am sick of being bubbly happy Pam
I am sick of not being able to speak my mind
I am sick of being afright people might not like me
I am sick of pretending to be someone I am not
I am sick of people leaning on me and giving nothing back in return
I am sick of people thinking I am obsessed
I am sick of the way girls look at me when they see me next to Sander
I am sick of listening to my stupid colleages
I am sick of defending meselve
I am sick of people thinking less of me because I spent money
I am sick of all those people who think wearing Lolita means you have to love Japan
I am sick of my boss
I am sick of all those parents who think I am the one raising their child
I am sick of my brother who seems to have it all
I am sick of all those people who see me as an example
I am sick of being seen as a " mom"
I am sick of being alone most of the time
I am sick of not being able to have Sander by my side as much as I would like
I am sick of being a fatty
I am sick of excusing meselve to others
I am sick of being afright
I am sick of al those people who say I am arrogant
I am sick of wanting it all
I am sick of being lady like
I am sick of always being the leader
I am sick of not being "her"
I am sick of being the strong one
I am sick of pretending that I don't care
I am sick of being judged by other

I am sorry...it just makes me sick...

Oh noooos someone stop me spending money..:P
Kreeg gister mijn loonstrook en zag tot mijn verbazing dat ik 600 euro reiskosten vergoeding heb gekregen van het afgelopen jaar wat ze vergeten waren te storten! Ok nou stonden we een beetje boel rood omdat we onze vakantie naar Bali hebben aanbetaald
( 19 dagen!!!! ) maar dit dekte het gat ruim en we hebben zelfs geld over. Me is soooo happy!
En nou ja geld moet rollen toch? :P Dus ik heb net deze tas gekocht op egl wilde em al een tijdje maar bij m-fashion was ie 125 euro en nu heb ik hem voor 50 euro! Me is happy!!!! Hij is van heart E.






Vanaaf naar Pans labyrinth! :) En bijna koningendag!! Woei!

Hmm het is alweer een tijdje geleden dat ik jullie heb lastig gevallen met de allerliefste IK! Mwahaha dachten jullie van me af te zijn..nou mooi niet! What have I been up to? Nasty things...XD
Nope niet echt. Ik heb me te pletter gewerkt, ben helemaal toe aan vakantie. Het circus project was top! Min puntje was dat ik met mijn botte hoofd een gigantische aanvaring had met een collega. Aangezien ik maar 4 collega's heb beinvloed dat de sfeer nogal. Maar goed ook al vond ik dat in mijn gelijk stond ik heb toch mijn verontschuldigingen aangeboden. Ik weet het ik ben een sukkel maar ik heb een hekel aan ruzie en dan heb ik het niet over dat internet getut maar echt ruzie, dus ook al ben ik het er niet helemaal mee eens dan bied ik toch maar mijn verontschuldigingen aan.
Verdere work-update:
* Schoolfotograaf is geweest, en hij had een stagair mee die foto's van me heeft gemaakt. Ben benieuwd! En mijn broer lief kwam ook nog even langs om samen met moi te poseren.
* Ik en mijn collega ( ja die van die ruzie ) moesten een presentatie doen voor de cursus Humanistische vormgeving en WE RULED! :P Ik had een verhaal geschreven als inleiding en iedereen was er helemaal weg van. Echt ik heb bergen complimenten gekregen van iedereen! Ik werd er helemaal verlegen van. ( ja ja Pam en verlegen...) Voor de WB-ers onder ons, ik moest een naam hebben en heb toen maar Remert gebruikt. Toch wel een beetje vreemd een verhaal voorlezen over Remert. ( ik weet het ik ben raar!)

Waaah ik wil zoveel zeggen dat ik niet meer weet!
Oh ja, verjaardagen...Waarom is iedereen opeens jarig? Sorry Blossmo..maar bij deze alsnog gefeliciteerd! En er was een verjaardag van Lid'l waar de lovely Sander en ik heen geweest zijn. ( hoe bedoel je late reactie? ) Was leuk! En ik vond het fijn excuses te krijgen van iemand..internet is soms zo stom iedereen vat alles anders op...zucht maar das weer een heel ander verhaal.
Verder is Sander bijna jarig en heb ik een crisis..Wat moet ik hem geven? AAAAAHH! Ow en Chi is bijna jarig ( hihi voor jouw heb ik de kado's al..waarom is niet de hele wereld loli dan kan ik wel kado's bedenken!)
Ow ow en we hebben Woodberry meet gehad! Ik had alleen zo'n hoofdpijn aan het einde toen iedereen film bleef kijken dat ik heel a-sociaal in mijn stoeltje heb zitten lezen. *slik* sorry peeps!
En ik ben weg geweest met mijn beste vriendin Janara. We kunnen elkaar maanden niet spreken maar we weten gewoon dat het goed zit. Maar nu moet ik sparen want we hebben besloten ons 10 jarig vriendschap te vieren in Euro Disney! Huray!
Mijn vriendenkring lijkt opeens steeds groter te worden, of misschien noem ik mensen wel vrienden terwijl zij dat helemaal niet zo zien. ;) Ik moet wel erg wennen aan dat hele groepsgebeuren enzo, ik hoop dat ik niemand beledig maar alle drama daar verbaas ik me soms echt over.

En verder?
Ik heb weer veels te veel geld uitgegeven aan kleding, mijn lolita collectie groeit! ( meta headbow, 2 paar alice sokken, nieuwe schoenen, drie jurkjes, een ketting, twee paar oorbellen, een innocent world wallet, een rok een een blouse.) En ik ben opeens weer in mijn vampier fase beland. Nee dat betekend niet dat ik je opeens wil gaan bijten. :P Ik lees opeens weer de vampire chronicles van Anne Rice en beland van de ene in de andere vampier film. Heb net Perfect Creatures gezien, niet heel spectaculair maar Dougray Scott maakt heel veel goed. ( echt ik hou van de man, ook al is ie oud, en ben ik getrouwd...hij is moooooooi, en ik weet zeker dat als ik hem ooit tegen kom hier in de stad dat we meteen deeply in love zullen zijn...yeah right!  :P) En ik ga zo interview maar weer eens kijken...

OMG! Vanuit het kamertje waar de comp staat kijk ik op de balkons van anderen zitten nu drie studenten met ontbloot boven lijf te eten en bier te drinken...hmmm ik geloof dat ik de was even op moet gaan hangen! ;)
Tot snel!

Dear Metamorphose,
Would you please stop making skirts that actually fitt me?
So I don't have to buy them and be able to safe up some money?
Thanks.

Woei it's me again!
I Just read something that totally pissed me of ( how un-lady like..:P) What is wrong with some people these days? Ugh I won't get into details cos I don't want to hurt anyone ( ugh why do I even care if I hurt anyone? I wanna be a selfish, just like everyone else..) But it's sooo unfair to judge people by there looks, or if you wanna be someone your not. And don't sell said little stories to me about how hard life can be..I know! I experienced it first hand!! But I don't want to talk about it anymore, I don't need pitty unlike some other people.
One of my friends isn't doing well and it scared the shit out of me, please take good care huh? It sucks..:(
On the other hand me is fine...me is happy ( ok that sounds wrong when you have a friend in need but I am not much of a help feeling desperate huh? ). It's like I switched to perfect pammy mode... Ok I am far from perfect but let's say I'm finally in balance again. I am happy...something I haven't been in a long long time. I finally learned to take care of me first and then of others.
San and I had a big talk last week which made me understand that I have controll on my life and not others... I should stop caring what others think and start being me.
Oh noooo one of my in depth posts... I promise next one will be short and filled with hapiness..:P

This is sooooooo typically me..I am finally having vacation, I end up being sick. Well not really really ill just a flu or something but my head feels weird and I wanna crawl in bed all day..I am soooo tired! I am suposed to do so many things today but I ended up doodling and scrabling. I re-aranged a group order I am doing ( all that money makes me scared almost 1000 dollar..I hope I can hold the temptation..hihi..) and after that I made a lovely portret of my alter ego...I finally took the time to draw again. My scanner broke but if you wanna see my interpretation of the lovely misses Luna Iddlewith go have a look here:

It's much much much nicer on paper instead of on a picture..
San had to work today so I kept sending him pictures of my progress now he wants to see a Draz but I am empty..all inspirations has been gone....And he is going to be late tonight AGAIN!
I end up being an old lonely woman desperate for some attention...XD
This weekend has been busy..I've been running around but it was fun. It strarted on Friday, when someone dared to invite me over. I ended up being anti social due to a migrain attack. I couldn't take my medicine because I had to drive so it took me some hours to finally clear up and be my loving self again. I hope I didn't leave a bad impression. I did enjoy meselfe tho. I learned how to find someone's sex noice ( don't even ask!! :P ) We talked a lot of Woodberry stuff ( it's alive!!) and some serious stuff too. I do hope kagemarunl has survived my stupidness..but your used to it aren't ya? ;)
I even had a small adventure when I drove home. The stunning lidl_delirium helped me on my way but when I drove on the highway my lights decided that they had done enough for the day. It was all dark and stuff and I was nearly having a panic attack. I wasn't sure what to do..Drive back and ask if I could stay there? And then go to an garage the next day? I finally decided to drive home.,.I know not a very smart decicision but I survived. Got lots and lots of light signals from other users but I ignored them...
Of course San got all worried and stuff saying that I was acting insane, that he didn't want me to end up in hospital for a second time...I shushed him..haha I am good at shushing..
Saturday and Sunday I went to the gothic and fantasy thingy to present the elegant gothic lolita show..the shows went perfect..I kept chatting like a pro saying lots and lots of nonsense..but people seemed to like it..:P It was a shame tho that I didn't have much time to chat with friends and stuff. People kept walking away acting all important and stuff, I don't like that. I wanted to sit down and actually talk with them..at least some of us talked but others only said Hi and kept running after others. But baaaah thats me complaining...a Pammy needs something to complain about.
I did end up buying some manga..I went all the way to Rijswijk to buy some manga from a store in Amsterdam..Yeah for me! :P It was cheap so I bought alice 19th ( 3 of them ) and rozen maiden...And I am still reading descandants of darkness.. me loves it.
Ugh and now my head says that I wrote enough...
Take care!

Kwam net dit tegen en ik wil, ik wil IK WIL! :P

Take That naar Ahoy

Uitgegeven: 21 februari 2007 12:25
Laatst gewijzigd: 21 februari 2007 12:33

ROTTERDAM - Take That komt naar Ahoy. De Britse boyband treedt 1 november op in Rotterdam, aldus concertorganisator Mojo woensdag. Het is twaalf jaar geleden dat Take That een concert gaf in Nederland.
 In de jaren negentig scoorden Gary Barlow, Jason Orange, Mark Owen, Robbie Williams en Howard Donald hits als Everything Changes, Relight My Fire en Back For Good. In 1996 ging de band, driekwart jaar na het vertrek van Williams, tot groot verdriet van de fans uit elkaar.

Brit Award
Het viertal - Robbie Williams doet niet mee aan de reünie - bracht eind vorig jaar na tien jaar weer een nieuw album uit, getiteld Beautiful World. De groep won vorige week een Brit Award voor de single Patience, die in Engeland op 1 in de hitlijst heeft gestaan. De nieuwe single Shine verschijnt begin maart.
De Britten kondigden woensdag aan in november niet alleen nieuwe nummers te spelen, maar ook oude hits. De kaartverkoop begint 2 maart.

O.k update of eerder gezegd low-date..stomme koppijn.
Ben vandaag met mijn klasje naar een voorstelling geweest mata ya visie..echt helemaal fantastisch. Het ging over een afrikaanse legende met muziek van een groep mensen uit Kenia, met zang en dans uit Afrika. Ik vind het echt belangrijk dat de kinderen iets meekrijgen van andere culturen en deze voorstelling was echt zo goed. Ik heb de hele tijd naar de kinderen zitten te kijken hoe ze reageerde en zo. :) Dat maakt me blij, dat ik zie dat school ook echt iets kan betekenen voor kinderen.
Gisteren hadden we cursus oven humanistisch vormings onderwijs, leuke cursus maar erg diepgaand, kom er altijd helemaal stil en bedachtzaam vandaan. Ik ben dan ook de pieker koningin en nadenken over de zin van het leven vind ik nou niet bepaald makkelijk.
Oei net iemand van de tnt aan de deur mijn vestje is er...and it's nice! Ja ik ben weer heerlijk materialistisch.
Verder heb ik geen bal te vertellen..behalve dan dat de weg open ligt en ik een kwartier langer er over doe om thuis te komen, dat ik dit weekend naar de musical doe maar ga met twee lieve vrienden, dat ik opeen weer heel veel tijd doorbreng met oude vrienden, dat ik niet zo veel meer online ben en dat dat me best bevalt, dat ik sms-jes waarin mensen zeggen dat ze me een beetje missen heel erg waardeer, dat ik een boek aan het schrijven bent wat toch nooit af komt, dat ik kingdom hearts nog uit moet spelen, ik ben nog maar bij Tarzan..:P en dat ik de 10th kingdom weer aan het herkijken ben, dat Sander zo thuiskomt en dat mijn kat gek is.
Goh toch nog wel wat! ;)
Luv ya!

My very lovely Innocent World skirt arived yesterday, and my bunny tote bag..I am sooooo happy. I keep looking at it and thinking it's so pretty it's so pretty! It only took two day by EMS to get here...I have been tracking it since it got posted, I was soooooo scared that I had to pay extra at costoms but no! Huray!
I just ordered a knit to go with it ( no brand...me doesn't fitt into brand knitties..:( ) I'll post pics when my co-ordination is finished..I just want it to look all good and stuff.
Yesterday I went to see Razorlight and they were pretty awesome eventhough the venue was totally crapp...my ears were bleeping when I got home. Today I had a hang over day eventhough I wasn't drunk or anything ( NO, honestly..:P ) I was cranky and the kids were like " ohoh she has one of those moods again.."  I had a snow fight with them to make up for my bad mood..off course they all decided to throw snow into my face. It was really cold but they made me laugh. I absolutey adore my earmuffs they are warm and comfy and they keep the noise out. ;) I went home early cos of the snow. My boss demanded me. He is cool. If there is still snow tomorow we will be holding a snow sculpture competition, we've done that before and it's a great day to start the day, cold but after playing in the snows the kiddies are so tired they will do anything..;)
And then finally weekend!
You people got me all wondering, I do read your lj but I don't always comment. When I read all your stuff I feel like such an outsider. I work hard so I do have the money to buy stuff I like, o.k I can't buy everything I want but money isn't a problem. If got my own place so no troubles with mams or dads. I'm married to a man I adore, and I am happy with him. Why is everybody all of a sudden talking about a-sexuality, is it a new trend like bisexuals? And why does everybody need a bjd? And why is money always such a problem? I never took money for granted I haven't always lived like this.
Don't  get me wrong but it looks to me that people infect eachother in lj land. Its a disease spreading..:P Nah serious what happend with having a mind for you own? Or am I seeing it totally wrong?
*Shuts up*
See ya!

I hate children I absolutely 100 procent hate them! I hate the way they always have to yell I hate it when their fingers are wapping in my face, I hate it that they always fight, I hate it when they don't understand things just because they didn't listen., I hate the facht that they always seem to have snotty noses , I hate em!
( no not really DUH I am teacher, but sometimes.....aaaargh..)
Ok so today I found meselve another reason to get dressed up. We are going to have a circus project at school! Wohoo a real circus team is coming around to spice things up. Is there such a thing as a lolita clown? ( lol no I don't mean that lolita is liking dressing up like a clown..) I just wondered since we came up with this idea to open the project with a clows act. I know it sounds silly but hee don't you think I make one hell of a clown? XD Someone is going to buy us some wigs and we'll be doing our own face-up and NOPE I am not gonna post pics! :P
This weekend has been fun..A bit crowded..I never seem to find enough time but what's new.
Sannie and I bought some new courtains our bedroom is going to look like a boudair! We went to the market and stuff...that's what we usually do..get looooots and looots of fruit..it rained so I ended up looking like a soaked kitty cat. But still a kitty cat...;)
I am sorry I am feeling jumpy..don't know why..work gets me jumpy I need to be calm and educational all day..when I get home I just wanna act like an idiot for a hour or two.
Sunday was great ...We had two dear friends coming around, I love hanging around with them..we had such strange conversations tho, we ended up talking about philosophy...and the usual..lolita, music, other people...Oh man we love talking about other people. Not in a bad way but people are just fascinating. It strange that those two people that I've only met last summer turn out to be such good friends.
And for now..I am waiting for my lovely hubbie to come home..he just called ( to say I love you hehehe..) And I'm in desperate need for some rpg so anyone out there who thinks they can put up with me and my babbling? I don't care what setting it takes place, I am into anything!
And is anyone going to the gothic fantasy thingy? I am still having my doubts..I quess I do wanna go I just don't know what day..and I wanna hang out with some friends..so if you go when are you going?
Thankies!

I am evil and I like it eventhough it kinda scared me..
I just read something that made me utterly happy tho it wasn't supposed to make anyone happy..Sometimes once misserie can make you happy.. I know I sound absolutely unreasenable..and it's mean and awfull but it's the way I  feel.... Just like  I said sometimes I  am evil....:P Or maybe it's Jewel who makes me evil...damn her songs really rock me to sleep...I don't wanna drown in her sweetness so I start being evil... wahetever...
And before people start wondering...being evil is something totally different then being arrogant.

I've got the day off....I just got out of bed and I still feel like I can sleep all day..but I gotta do the household..and some phone calls..and some sewing if I ever get my ass in front of my sewingmachine...I like sewing but I am such a newbie when it comes to sewing. Oh and some some shopping, my boss is getting a daughter soon and sincer everybody thinks I am on "that" age I am supposed to buy something for the little one. Not that I mind it's a good excuse to go shopping..and who doens't love the baby departement? Yesterday I heard that the skirt I want is ordered it's sooooo pretty and sooooo expensive...

http://innocent-w.jp/shopping/skirt/064202/p.jpg

How am I going to co-ordinate that huh? :P

And next month I'll be doing a fanplusfriend group order...to test my organizing skills..;)
I am still thinking about what I should get... I am pretty sure about this one
http://store.prostores.com/fanplusfriend/images/loli/jacket/ME00001_01.jpg
To go with my Meta velveteen skirt... There's lots of other stuff I want but I don't know if I have to money for it so I shall see...
Yeah I am pretty materialistic these days, I work hard, and most of my clothes are becoming to big so I've got some good excuses...:P

Am I the only one these days who doesn't like j-rock and j-pop? Ugh it sounds awfull ( yeah well says a girl who once was a huuuge take that fan..so that doesn't say much..:P ) I don't know what to think these days. This "lolita" thing is getting way out of hand for some people. All I can think is damn it's a clothing thing not a life style!! That huge fuss that everybody is making about smoking while being dressed lolita. So what? It's not cosplay were you totally have to look like the figure your cosplaying. ( with all respect to those of you who are pretty good at cosplaying I just don't get it...I am a morron...) If I feel like smoking wearing my pretty dress I'm gonna smoke...
Why don't people just relax?
I am feeling bleghie at the moment, it doesn't matter what I eat everything makes me feel like I am going to throw up, and no I am not pregnant. It just that food makes me sick... I've been losing weight again, I changed my eating patern and somehow my body got so used to it it doesn't want any food..:P I've lost 17 kilo's since august ( yeah me takes the time for it..:P ) and I just wanna loose the next three or so...
I can't help standing in front of a mirrow hearing those comments of others and it makes me soooo mad! I wanna be over it! I want to forget what was said but it's still there. And I'm like look at me! I've worked so hard to loose that weight and still I am being judged by others. But I don't want to get all melo dramatic again.
Do you sometimes have that feeling that someone doesn't like you and you have no idea what you did wrong? That's weird...I don't know why but somehow people find me arrogant... I don't know why..I am not that arrogant am I?
Ugh I am ranting....
Ok I wanna end with some happy news:

DAD IS GOING HOME!!!! :)

OMG! Ik heb net weer in wb gepost..... :P

Just leave me alone!!!!